A life without hope
by maddy135
Summary: After a rash decision Sirius is forced out of his house by his abusive parents, his new life is with the Lupin family who will treat him as one of their own, but his brother is left at home. There will be mentions of abuse in this story, don't like, don't read.
1. Motherfucker

**I'm not sure exactly where I'm going to take this but I'm excited, I've got a good feeling about this story. As always reviews are appreciated and make me very happy!**

"Motherfucker…. HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY!" Sirius shouted, slamming his door for the 3rd time that day. He had been at the dinner table with his father, mother and brother Regulus when his father told him that he would be wed to some pureblood girl they deemed well enough for their heir. This happened at least 3 times a month, Sirius always refused and ran back to his room after a colorful screaming match between him and his parents while his brother sat there silently trying to not make any noise.

"I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK TO HOGWARTS AWAY FROM THIS FUCKING PLACE _I'M GOING TO BANG ALL THE MUGGLE BORNS IN THE SCHOOL JUST TO SPITE YOU!"_ Sirius screamed as loud as he could, while sloppily grabbing all Gryffindor, muggle, or otherwise terribly offensive items to people such as his parents. He grabbed his wand and started permanently sticking them to his walls; he didn't stop until he ran out of things to put up. Sirius was in his 5th year at Hogwarts and has been not so patiently waiting out the summer, waiting for the day when he can go back to school and see his real family, Remus, James and Peter and be away from his parents.

Walburga, Sirius's not so pleasant mother opened his door already seething with anger which went to nuclear levels as soon as she saw what he put on his walls.

"Sirius Orion Black, what have you done." Her voice was tinted with venom and hatred.

"I was just decorating mother, you know how you're always telling me I need more color in my room? Well I've taken it upon myself to add some, don't you just _adore_ it?" he had gone too far, pushed her well past her breaking point, he though she was horrible and abusive before? He had seen nothing yet. Tight lipped, Walburga left his room without another word, confused and starting to worry, Sirius followed her to his father's study. He had never seen his mother so angry she was speechless.

"Orion, your son has destroyed his room, sullied the House of Black, I WILL NOT DEAL WITH HIM ANY MORE, HE IS NO SON OF MINE! He must go. I cannot tolerate his disobedience any longer. I renounce you Sirius, you no longer mean anything but disappointment and anger to me." Seething with hatred she grabbed him by his long hair and drug him to the family tree where she held his face inches from her wand as she burned his name off the tapestry pushing his face too close the wall she sneered and whispered "I hope you end up on the streets you filthy ungrateful shit." She shoved him to the floor with her last words.

"You have one hour to collect your _things_ and get out of my house. If you have not left by then I will have your father escort you out. I don't want to hear from you or see you again. You are not my child anymore, nor my responsibility. I will set up a vault for you so you won't need to come back. Goodbye Sirius." Stunned Sirius stood uncomprehendingly in his father's study for a few minutes before running to the room that is no longer his and began scribbling a note to Remus, knowing he always responded the fastest and was the most reliable.

_Moony_

_Mother is kicking me out, I need somewhere to go. James is in France and peter is in Egypt please get back to me soon, they gave me one hour to get out and I have 45 minutes left. Please Remus… Hurry._

_Padfoot_

Sirius grabbed his wand and using a spell quickly packed and shrunk his belongings, putting them in his coat. He rushed to Regulus's room to explain to his brother what happened.

"Reg?" Sirius knocked on is brother's door hoping to explain quickly before he gets tossed out.

"Sirius? Are you okay? I heard shouting then silence…"his brother opened the door his young face colored with worry.

"Reg, I have to leave, mother and father are kicking me out, but listen to me, I've contacted my friend Remus, you remember him don't you?" at Regulus' nod he continued "hopefully I can stay with him, his mother and father like me a great deal. Mom has forbidden me from coming back but if you need me I will do anything I can to get back here, nothing they can do will keep me from protecting you. I want you to write to me at least once a week okay? Okay. Now without me here they will put all of their attention on you, if they get physical once I want you to come to Remus' house send me a letter and I will come get you. I love you Reg." pulling his brother into a hug Sirius was scared out of his mind, he didn't care that he was being kicked out but he had to leave his bother behind, something he claimed he would never do. Despite the front his family put up his parents are horrible people, his father and mother physically and emotionally abused him and his brother since he can remember, Regulus always got off easier than he did because he was the rebellious teen who they hoped to beat into their mold of the perfect pureblood son. Sirius was worried now that he was gone their attentions would fall to his young brother, a small 3rd year who can't stand up for himself.

An owl flew into the room interrupting is thoughts and his hug with his brother. Grabbing the owl and untying the letter from his leg he unrolled it and read it aloud to his brother.

_Padfoot_

_Dad's apperating to the front of your house, we should be there by the time you get this. Come out when you are ready, I'm so sorry siri._

_Love, Moony_

Thank merlin for moony.

"Reg, I have to go. They are here; you are always welcome where I am. I love you, never forget that. Write to me soon to tell me how things are." With one last quick hug and glance at his brother, one of the few people he cares about he left what used to be his home.

**The next chapter should be up within the next few days.**


	2. Dreams

**Definitely tried to make this chapter longer than the last but ts still pretty short... but yeah! 2nd chapter! Woo! Reviews are greatly Appreciated and heavily encouraged! And fro those who had read the chapter previously please read the last few paragraphs, I had forgotten to add them at the end before so they are there now.**

"Sirius! Padfoot… Are you okay? Did they hurt you? What happened?" Remus's voice was loud in his ear as he was pulled into a quick hug by the worrisome werewolf.

"Moth- Walburga pulled my hair and pushed me but that's it. I'm fine Remus, really. You know how I had all those muggle posters of nude girls on motorcycles? Well I might have hung them up with permanent sticking charms… _She _saw it and flipped her shit she dragged me down to the study and burned my name off the bloody family tree. After that she told me she was setting up a vault for me so I wouldn't have a reason to come back, completely forgetting Reg. Merlin she's such a twat. So I'm forbidden from going back. Can we head to your house now? I can feel her staring at me through the window." Sirius nervously tapped his leg with his hands hoping to calm himself and stop worrying about Regulus. She kind of likes Regulus… but that won't save him from her angry hands and his father's curses…

"Yeah, come on son, Sirius. Grab ahold of one of my arms and we can go." Said , he grabbed ahold of the man's arm and they apperated with a loud crack.

The Lupin house was nothing fancy or flashy, it was small and worn down with some flowers in the front lawn that were bright and colorful, in great contrast with the dull honey brown house with the white trim. It wasn't perfect and Sirius loved every minute of it. His ex-home was extravagant with many rooms for useless things that made no sense to him. This house was perfect in his eyes.

Remus grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him into the house; inside smelled like home cooked chicken and grilled vegetables.

"You sent that owl just as mom was putting dinner on, are you hungry?" Remus asked, his kind face bright and happy.

"When am I not moony, when am I not? Besides I was 'banished from the table' before I could even eat a bite." Remus squeezed the arm he was hold gently in comfort.

"Hey, Mom set a place for Sirius will you?"

"Of course sweetie. How are you Sirius?" Remus's mom Adelaide is the sweetest woman Sirius had ever met and he loved how she treated him like he was a part of the family.

"I'm okay, thank you Adelaide, can you pass me the potatoes please?

* * *

Even though Sirius had only been at the Lupins for a few short hours he felt welcomed and happier than he had in a long time. He and Remus were getting ready for bed at night when he finally allowed himself to think about his brother. Poor Reg, _'I swear if she so much as touches him I'll kill her'_. Sirius loved his brother, they had been the only comfort the other had while growing up and now he can't help him…

"Remus… I'm worried about Regulus, I shouldn't have allowed him to stay, I should have brought him with me, kept him safe. I've failed him Rem…" Sirius made his bed on the floor next to Remus's bed hiding his face as tears are brought to his eyes.

"He'll write if there's trouble Padfoot. He'll be okay, he's smart." Sirius nodded in response, Remus dropped a hand down and rested in on Sirius' shoulder.

"Thank you Remus, for everything." he got a shoulder squeeze in response.

* * *

_My body's on fire, I try to put it out but there's nothing there. I look up and see my father standing over me with his wand in his hand screaming out curse after curse. I bite back my screams so Regulus doesn't have to hear me in my pain._

"_This is what you get for getting sorted in that fucking hero house. You should have known better, if you were better behaved that wouldn't have happened and you wouldn't be here making me do this."_

_Panting I apologize over and over hoping for it to stop, hoping _he'll_ stop and take pity even though I know he won't. I try to turn over and crawl away; when he sees what I'm doing he pulls me back and starts cursing me again. First I feel whips breaking open my skin but yet I do not break, then he ups it to the blood boiling curse and even though its pure agony, I stay silent. Father gets more and more aggravated pushing as much power as he can into them, when sees he won't be able to make me beg he pulls out his last resort._

"_Walburga bring in Reg." gathering my strength I scream as loud as I can_

"_NO!" he just looked down and smiled at me twisted and wrong…._

"_YOU WOULDN'T! HES ONLY 9, YOU BASTARD!"_

"_Are you sure about that?" screaming apologies and threats at the same time, hoping something will work._

"_This is all your fault Sirius."_

"Sirius, wake up! You're having a nightmare, come on, it's okay you're safe…" Shaking and drenched in sweat Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus hovering above him with worry and panic evident in his eyes.

"Are you okay? You were screaming and shouting 'it's all my fault' and I couldn't wake you up no matter how hard I tried, so I went and got a glass of water, sorry about that I hope you don't mind…" Sirius smiled at his worrisome best friend, glad that he was there to wake him, that had been the worst night of his life, he felt so bad that he had been the reason Regulus was hurt. It _was_ his fault.

"I'm fine Remus, thank you for waking me." Sirius sat up and rubbed his head, he really needed a cigarette…. No doubt Remus wouldn't let him…

"What happened pads?" Remus was sitting next to him now holding his now empty glass of water.

"it was the memory of when I went home for Christmas break during third year. Father was upset because I was sorted into Gryffindor. .. He used Regulus to hurt me after he couldn't get the reactions he wanted from just cursing me. Fuck… I need a cigarette, can I sneak one without being scolded for once moony?" Remus sighed and grumbled before reaching over and hugging his friend once again.

"Dammit… Fine, but only one! And I'll go with you to make sure it's _only one._" Smiling they walked together outside and down the front steps.

* * *

The next day was spent helping Remus relax before the full moon, helping him eat, fluffing his pillows, and fetching pain potions. Sirius always liked taking care of Remus, Remus was always the caregiver it was nice to do something for him every month. Whenever he did something like this he could tell Remus appreciated it, full moons were hard on his body, his joints hurt, bones were fragile and it felt like he had the wizard flu.

"Padfoot, I really am sorry to bother you but would you mind getting me a blanket? I'm still cold…" Remus seemed almost embarrassed to have to ask for such a simple thing as a blanket.

"Of course Remus, you know you don't have to be sorry, you know I'm happy to help." Gently patting Remus on the headache walked past he whispered "good little wolf" to a smiling Remus. Heading for the closet in the hall way he could hear whispering coming from John and Adelaide's bedroom.

"… This doesn't mean anything. I'm sure this is just someone's idea of a joke; we'll tell the neighbors that we dog sit for a friend and word will get around. Whoever this is from will stop sending these once they realize they were wrong."

"They aren't wrong Adelaide. Remus is a werewolf; soon enough people will stop ignoring the obvious signs and tell the ministry, the ministry will lock him up in a werewolf camp and he won't be strong enough to defend himself. You know what those places are like, he won't last a month, he's too kind he wouldn't be able to kill if he needs to…."

"John, please… let's just get through the night then we can talk about this more tomorrow. We'll tell the boys and come up with a solution then… Just not now, I can't do this now… where are the pain potions, Remus is going to need more soon." Quickly walking away from the room Sirius pushes what he learned from his mind. He had other things to focus on right now, like getting Remus through this full moon without him killing himself. His transformation should be in a few hours, going back into his room Sirius places a heating charm on the blanket before draping it over Remus. Hearing him sigh in relief, Sirius smiles before sitting down to wait.

* * *

At 7:30 that night Remus was carried down to the Lupins cellar by Sirius and Remus's father, John. Sirius and John were as careful as they could be, but there were still accidents and the whole ordeal Remus had come away with three freshly made bruises. Once they had made it down the stairs they set Remus down to let him change out of his clothes as he didn't want to shred them. Handing Remus a blanket to cover himself Sirius sat down at the wall close to him.

"Sirius honey, you can't be down here with Remus, he'd hurt you on accident." Said Adelaide giving Sirius a strange look, shouldn't he know this by now?

"Uh… actually he won't hurt me, well not much anyway… I'm an… I'm an animagus." Sirius said hoping they wouldn't be mad at him.

"How many moons have you been with him Sirius?" Intent on telling the truth Sirius took a deep breath to steady himself before he responded.

"Every moon he's been at the school for since second year." A stunned silence followed "And now that I'm here I'm not leaving, every moon I've been with him has been better than before, even when he was stressed and upset." Both Adelaide and John looked at him with what looked like pride in their eyes, something Sirius had never seen directed at him before. John looked at him before smiling softly and responding.

"Of course you can stay Sirius. " After that John and Adelaide left them and went upstairs to wait out the night cringing at the sounds coming within their basement.

Changing quickly, Sirius curled on the floor next to Remus waiting until he began his transformation.

Remus's transformations were never easy, but with Sirius there as Padfoot Remus always woke up with fewer injuries than before, but that didn't mean he completely escaped his own claws and teeth. After listening to all of Remus's bones breaking and fusing back together, he nudged the now furry werewolf with his snout hoping the wolf wouldn't get angry at being pushed. Moony growled lightly, urging Sirius to sit back and watch him. Moony slowly stood and looked around; assuring himself it was safe before crouching in front of Sirius and growing, ready to play.

After wrestling around for a couple hours Sirius and Remus settled down for a nap on the cement floor, worn out.

* * *

Sirius woke up to a strange noise, low growing and a wet, oddly squishy sound. Looking up he was horrified to see Remus gnawing on his arm, blood was dripping from the large wound. Panicking he leapt at Remus stopping him from continuing to injure himself. As he scrambled to regain footing he felt Remus's claws rake down his shoulder and down his fore arm, hobbling away he ran at Remus once again, this time knocking him over and on to his back. Finally Remus stilled beneath Sirius, allowing Sirius to slide off. Looking down he realized the reason Remus had stilled, he had passed out. Praying to merlin that Remus would make it another few minutes he laid next to his best friend and watched the small pool of blood gather.

**Next chapter might actually take a couple of days to get up as I'm busy tomorrow. **


	3. Panic

**I mentioned this in my authors note at the beginning of the last chapter but for those of you who didn't see it I added a few paragraphs at the end of the last chapter. It goes through Remus's first transformation of the story. This chapter won't make as much sense than it would if you had read it.**

Sirius wasn't sure how long he had to wait until Adelaide and john would show up to unlock the door but every minute felt like an hour. Trying to convince himself there was no need to panic Sirius waited on the floor for another few minutes before Remus started to shift back. Quickly changing back into his human form Sirius grabbed the sheet Remus was wrapped in earlier and wrapped it around his hand and wrist, noticing just how big the pool of blood had gotten. Picking up his best friend he carried him up the stairs to the door that lead back into the first floor. Banging on the door with his foot he shouted to John and Adelaide.

"Help! Remus bit himself during the night and lost a lot of blood!" still kicking the door Sirius started to hear the sound of the locks clicking and the door was pulled open. Hurrying into the kitchen he placed Remus on the table and grabbed his wand from the cupboard he left it in the night before. Sirius had looked up some easy and powerful healing spells after first learning of Remus's condition, he had used them to heal Remus so many times he could probably pass the exam to become a professional healer.

While Sirius was rushing around Adelaide and John were standing the door way stunned in a terrified silence which was starting to aggravate Sirius quite a bit.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING? I NEED POTIONS. Run and get two blood replenishing potions, a pain potion, skin repairing salve, and skeletal-gro." Seeing that they hadn't moved he added "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? _GO FUCKING NOW_." Swearing loudly Sirius continued casting spells on Remus, trying to get him stable enough that he wouldn't die waiting for the potions to take effect.

Adelaide and John came rushing back into the room, seeing that Sirius seemed to know what he was doing, handed the potions to him. Pouring the first potion down Remus's throat to help him swallow he was happy to see the pink return to his once blue tinted lips. Rubbing the salve into the wound he was pleased to see the skin fusing back together to create a scar that could never be erased, the permanent reminder of that night. Pouring the pain potion down Remus's throat he grabbed Remus's clothes from the night before and spelled Remus into them.

Grabbing one of the chairs he shoved out of his way earlier he settled down in it to wait until Remus woke, putting a cushion charm on the table.

* * *

Adelaide and John sat with Sirius for a few hours before they started to drift off to sleep, having not gotten much that night themselves. Seeing this Sirius took pity.

"Go to bed guys, I can't sleep anyway I'll keep watch of Remus to make sure he's okay. I'll wake you if there are any problems." Looking at Sirius John could tell there was nothing they could say to dissuade him from his decision to stay and watch Remus, instead he grabbed Sirius shoulder and thanked him.

"Thank you son, thank you for saving him. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there." Brushing back Remus's hair from his forehead Adelaide kissed his forehead and smiled at Sirius before leaving the room.

Content to wait it out until Remus awoke he settled in his chair and allowed his mind to wonder.

* * *

After a few hours Remus started to stir, jumping up from his previously slouched position he stood over Remus and checked his vitals quickly with a diagnostic spell. Seeing that everything seemed to be fine he waited not so patently for Remus to open his eyes, eager to truly see his best friend was okay.

Remus opened his eyes, they were glassy and he looked confused. Sirius, though still concerned was starting to let relief over take him. Smiling down at Remus, Sirius reached out and helped Remus sit up.

"How are you feeling? You almost gave me a bloody heart attack there… Here drinks this." Handing Remus a pain potion Sirius watched him for any signs of needing another blood replenishing potion. Noticing the look of horror wash over Remus's face Sirius opened his mouth to ask what's wrong when Remus reached up to touch his arm.

"Sirius… did the wolf…. did _I _do that?" Sirius not knowing what to say nodded.

"Yes, you did but you couldn't help it. Don't blame yourself, it doesn't hurt that bad, it happened when I slammed into your side." A look of confusion crossed Remus's face.

"Why did you have to slam into my side?" reaching for Remus's hand he held it up to his face to show him his new scar on his wrist. The slivery skin looked ragged and torn, the skin was shiny and a lighter shade than the rest.

Remus stared at the newest addition of scars, it was nothing new, he had them all over his body. His largest was the bite he got from Grayback that covered his entire right shoulder, the one that would in turn give him the rest. Sighing, his shoulders dropped a bit in sadness, each scar made him feel more and more like a monster. Sirius knowing exactly where his friend's mind was going tilted his head up so their eyes met, Sirius still holding onto Remus's wrist.

"Look at me Remus, you. Are. Not. A. Monster. You are a fantastically worrisome bookworm and friend who just happens to have a little furry problem once a month. I don't want you to think of yourself as a monster ever again. Okay?"

"okay."

**Next chapter we will hear more about the mysterious thretening letters and maybe hear from Regulus again. Review and tell me what you think!**


	4. Letters and Regulus

**Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, school started back up again and I was distracted. Weird week, anyway! Read and please, please review. Seriously guys, lots and lots of views and some favorites and follows and no reviews. **

After Sirius told Remus how he felt he helped him stand up off the table only so he could sit in the chair Sirius had been in most of the day.

"How are you feeling? I tried to patch you up as best as I can…" Sirius said, worried that Remus was in pain.

"I'm fine, just a bit sore." As Remus finished his response an owl flew through the room. Recognizing the owl as Regulus's Sirius shot an apologetic look and hurried to untie the letter around the owl's leg.

_Sirius _

_Mom's pissed and dad hasn't come home the whole time you've been gone which is only making mom angrier. I've been hiding in my room and having the house elves send my dinner up here. Last night I heard mom getting into the wine, she did it again this morning. I'm getting worried siri. You know how she is when she gets like this, especially if dad's gone doing what, only merlin knows. Well I'm pretty sure we all know, but I don't want to think about it._

_Love Reg_

Shoving the letter at Remus for him to read Sirius stood up, grabbing his wand he paced angrily around the room.

"I can't leave him there any longer Remus! You read it, moms drinking again! Do you have any idea what she did to him last time she drank like this? She locked him in the cellar without food for days. He was stuck in a dark room with things crawling on him while he starved. FOR 5 DAYS. I won't let that happen again Remus. I just won't. "

Reading the letter quickly, Remus understood Sirius's panic and was quite worried himself; if Regulus wasn't careful he'd find himself in a lot of trouble. Worried for Sirius's brother Remus went to get up and pulled on some of his newly healed skin on his ribs. Groaning and sitting back down Remus clutched at his side.

"Remus, you need to be careful," giving him a tight smile Sirius added "I can't handle the stress of both you and Regulus possibly dying at the drop of a hat…" the tight smile turned watery and troubled.

"Sirius, there's no need to worry about me, you fixed me up remember? And before I pulled on my side and interrupted myself I was going to say that we can go get him. " Remus sounded so sure Sirius wanted to believe him but he still had so many doubts, his parents would want to keep Regulus, form him to be their perfect pureblood slytherin son. They will need a heir and they kicked out their other option.

After voicing his concerns to Remus, Sirius was even more convinced that his doubts would be true and Regulus would never be out of their controlling abusive hands.

"I'm not saying we get him right now, but we can go the legal way. Show the ministry some of your worse memories, maybe including the dream you had last night. We can get them to give my parents' custody until he's 17. This will work! They will make your parents send him money for school things and necessities so that shouldn't be a problem…" cutting off Remus Sirius sighed before explaining how his parents worked.

"Remus… my dad works for the ministry; he has a lot of the employees under his thumb or in his pocket. Do you think this would be the first time someone has thrown allegations at my family? Tried to get custody of me and Reg? It's not. Hey, it might work but the chances are it won't, then after it doesn't go to trial? They come after you, your mom, your dad, and everyone else near you. My parents aren't good people Remus. They are bad, very bad and I won't have you in trouble with them. You mean too much to me and I won't have you hurt, especially because of me." After his rant Sirius sat down on the floor next to Remus's chair, putting his head on Remus's hip.

To some people their shows of affection might seem odd or even weird but growing up in an abusive home Sirius never got the good attention and affection that he craved, Remus had seen this soon after meeting Sirius and had slowly started showing affection in small ways, hugs, pats, and other small touches. After the years Sirius had grown accustomed to them and even relied on them in some ways.

Still determined and possibly even more convinced he had to help Regulus, Remus sighed and stroked Sirius's hair to try and calm him.

"Fine Sirius, the school year is starting soon anyway and he should be safe there for a while until we can figure out a better way to save him. In the meantime try not to worry, you know where I keep my ink and parchment, why don't you go and grab some and send him a response?" Sirius nodded and left to go grab the objects.

Remus waited until Sirius left before he stood, careful not to stretch the skin he pulled too tight earlier. Limping, still sore from his transformation only hours ago, he made his way to the table so he could grab another pain potion. Feeling the effects start to spread he sat back down before he got dizzy, always happened right after he took a potion like this, especially the stronger ones. After he sat down her heard the door to his parent's door open and their footsteps at they walked to the kitchen.

Smiling softly, careful to not be too loud for Remus's still overly sensitive senses, well more than anyway, Remus's parents started to fuss over him, making sure for themselves that their son was okay.

"How are you feeling son? Still sore? Can we get you anything?" John laid a warm and on Remus's shoulder, realizing just how cold he was he asked for a blanket.

"can I get you anything else, pickle?" cringing at the nickname Remus shook his head, hes a damn werewolf for god sakes, he didn't know any other werewolves but he was pretty sure they didn't have the nickname "pickle".

"Yeah, can I get you anything else, _pickle?_" Glaring at Sirius as he entered the room, he was glad to see that his friend seemed to look better. Choosing not to bring up the rough topic so soon, Remus tried to keep the mood teasing and light.

"I'm good…_Snuffles."_

"Snuffles? You just made that up, didn't you?"

Giving Sirius a wink Remus responded "of course!"

John walked in happy to see his son smiling so soon after a full moon, he was glad once again that Sirius had come to live with them, but sad at the same time because he had a secret to share. One he really bloody didn't want to. He knew it would set tension around the house and make Remus feel even more like a monster than normal.

"Remus…your mom and I have something to tell you… for the past couple of months we have been getting these messages by owl the night before the full moon… I don't know who it is, they send it from a different owl every moon so we can't trace them and we obviously can't take this to the ministry. Son, someone knows about your… what do you call it? Furry little problem. This is the last message we got from the person."

Written in rough messy hand writing on the small stained piece of paper it said,

_I'll see you soon my little wolf._

There was a small drawing underneath that looked like a solar eclipse.

**Well there it is, I know it's another small chapter but I was short on time to finish it. Hopefully the next one will be longer and take less time for me to put up. I'm hoping during the week I'll be able to write a couple of chapters. Also I've been a beta for a bit now and get very few requests so if anyone needs a beta please look at my profile and contact me. Please review!**


	5. Running

**I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I last updated but I'll definitely try and start doing it more often. Thank you to all that have patiently waited and viewed my other chapters, especially to those who have added me to their story/author alerts list! It's awesome to see that people actually want to read my writing. Also if anyone needs a beta I'm open for business even if I don't feel like writing I'll always beta!**

John was right; Remus did feel like a monster. What was he meant to do now? Just wait until this person shows up to cart him off to the ministry? Remus had always been a shy book worm but he also always had a very strong urge to stay alive, it was part of why he'd lived this long. Most werewolves that lock themselves up without other fellow werewolves around to form a true pack died out within a few years of the time of infection.

"I'll go pack my things then." Remus said as he stood to leave the room.

John grabbed Remus's arm as he walked past stunned at what his son was insinuating. "Remus where do you think you are going?"

"Where do you think I'm going? I'm leaving dad. I refuse to be a problem to this family anymore, an _inconvenience._" Remus wrenched his arm out of his father's grip causing the man to stumble forward slightly. Rushing out of the room Remus quickly started shoving his things into his Hogwarts trunk. Hurrying after Remus Sirius walked in to see him blurry eyed and frantic.

"Remus…Remus calm down." Gently touching Remus's elbow to gain his attention Sirius was startled when Remus spun around to glare at him.

"CALM DOWN?! HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN I'VE FUCKED UP MY PARENTS LIFE BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING FREAK." Taking a deep breath while his eyes flashed a wolfish yellow Remus lowered his voice to a cold quiet tone, one that worried Sirius more than Remus yelling.

"Sirius I cannot, _will not_ be the reason my parents life is destroyed any longer. Nothing you can say will persuade me otherwise. I. Am. Leaving." Scowling at Remus Sirius nodded his head and sat down. Running his hands over his face roughly Sirius let them drop into his lap.

"Fine… But I'm going with you. No arguments. My uncle Alphard has a few hundred houses he doesn't use, he gave me access to every house and I'm keyed into the wards. We can go hideout in one of those for a while until we can set up something on our own, he won't mind. Now I only have one condition for this Remus, and I have to admit one of the contributing factors to why I'm agreeing with you and letting you leave…. We have to break out Reg."

* * *

After they finished their talk they walked back out into the living room. John and Adelaide were huddled together talking quietly to each other; they looked up when the two boys walked into the living room.

"Mom, Dad, Sirius has convinced me to stay. I'm leaving for school soon anyway and… well… I'm sorry." Sirius tried to hide his surprise, they hadn't talked about lying to Remus's parents at all and it caught him off guard. He didn't like lying to these people, it made him feel guilty and ashamed.

"Oh, Remus! Don't be sorry, we should have told you sooner. I'm sorry we kept this from you for so long." Their easy acceptance only made Sirius feel worse for lying.

"Remus why don't you both just go lie down in your room, you've had a long day, the both of you."

"Okay Mom, come on siri." Grabbing Sirius's sleeve he pulled him gently to their now shared room.

"Sirius, we should pack now and then get some sleep. I'll put up an alarm charm to wake us up at 3am. I'm…. I'm going to write them a good bye letter first." Sirius puled Remus into a tight hug, trying to reassure him that everything would turn out okay.

"Look Remus. It will be okay. I know you are leaving them now but we will be back. Hopefully whoever this is will follow us and we can take care of the problem. We can face this person when we are ready, Alphard has heavy wards around all of his house's. If we don't want something in there, it won't be in there."

Nodding his head Remus sat down at his desk and nodded. Remus pulled out a quill and paper, sighing heavily he began to write.

Worrying for his friend Sirius began to pack his things back into his trunk, save for a few blankets and clothes for the morning.

* * *

At exactly 3 am Remus's wand began to shake and heat before he felt cold water splash against his skin. Grabbing his wand Remus deactivated the charm and sat up before waking Sirius the rest of the way.

"Rem? Wassup?" Sirius groggily slurred his words and blinked rapidly at Remus's blurry form.

Smiling down at his friend Remus helped him stand before handing Sirius his shrunken chest.

"You ready?"

Sirius nodded "Ready as I'll ever be."

Together they walked out onto the front porch, careful of the squeaky floor boards, and into the moonlight. Staring at the lightening horizon Remus exhaled.

"Fuck."

* * *

Adelaide woke up at approximately 7 in the morning to the chiming noise from her husband's wand. Smiling she tapped him on the forehead to wake him up, one of his eyes cracked open to peer at her. Beaming at her husband Adelaide tapped him once more on the nose before speaking.

"Honey buns, I'm going to go make cinnamon rolls and pancakes, do you want anything else?"

"Coffee cake." John grumbled as he rolled back over and pulled the blanket over his head. Smiling once again at her husband's antics Adelaide stood from bed and started breakfast.

After about an hour the food was done, Adelaide dished up some food on two plates with some glasses of orange juice and levitated them in front pf her. Walking quickly to the boy's bedroom she stopped at seeing the empty beds. Shock and worry panic began to set in as she remembered how odd Remus was last night…. His sudden change of mind had shocked her, he had always been stubborn but she had brushed it off because she wanted to believe the words that he said.

Forgetting the food and juice she dropped the plates to the floor with a loud shatter. Spotting a piece of paper on Remus's bed she walked quickly to it, picking it up and holding it carefully by both sides.

After hearing the shatter John leapt up from bed and hurried to the source of the noise. Still running John burst through the doorway and stopped in confusion. Looking up from the mess on the floor he saw his wife sitting on the otherwise empty bed still clutching the paper in her hands he could see tears running down her face.

John walked over and sat down next to her, taking the paper from her hands.

_Mom, Dad,_

_ I love you both, that is why I must do this. I refuse to endanger you any longer with my presence. Please trust that I am safe. I will come back when the threat has been taken care of. Do not fret Sirius has come with me to doubly insure that I am safe, we have a place, many places actually where we can stay. Please don't come looking for me, you won't find me anyway._

_ Sincerely your son,_

_ Remus _

John let the letter float to the floor.

"Fuck."

**Sorry that this is short, especially after the wait but I've been rather preoccupied but I wont let this happen again! Please read and review! Seriously. Please read and review. I think I'm addicted to them.**


	6. Breaking out

**I'm sorry for having this take so long, I really am I swear! I'm really busy, I know that's an excuse but it's true. I had finals and now I have a nice long break. I'm getting ready to start a small soap and scrub shop on esty and have been stock piling. (For those of you who are interested, the shop is called SignificantSoaps it isn't open yet but it will be soonish.) Anyway. I'm going to have my boyfriend make me write at least a bit everyday so I can get chapters out soon faster. I apologize!**

About the time Remus's parents found his letter him and Sirius were arriving at a large cottage in Scotland. Sirius and Remus haggled with a muggle cab to drive them 3 hours to 'Uncle Alphard's' despite having many large houses he preferred to live in a quaint brick house in Presteigne, Powys. After the three hour drive the boys were tired and heavy on their feet. Alphard, as always, was energetic and happy to see them.

"Sirius! You know you were always my favorite nephew, I'm glad you broke away from the poisonous bint that is my sister. You know, she's always been a hag, I remember this one time when I dyed her hair red and gold in school, she had absolutely no sense of humor…" Sirius droned out his talkative uncle in favor of planning how he would get to Reg. He would have to use the floo and hope that they had forgotten to ban him from it. The floo was the only entrance to the house that wouldn't set off an alarm late at night, his father liked to go out to visit his mistresses when Walburga was asleep. He would also need to send an owl to Reg to let him know he needed to be packed. Deciding to do that now he interrupted his uncle.

"….so I set five dung bombs in her school bag, when she moved it just right they all went off at once. It was pure magic boys I can't tell you enough abo-"

"Uncle? Do you happen to have a spare owl? I need to send an important letter."

"Oh of course I have one! Between you and me I have twenty, see I like to collect small things that create havoc whe-" Knowing that he would continue to talk until urged Sirius interrupted him once again.

"Do you happen to have a spare quill as well? I seem to have misplaced mine…"

"Oh! Yes, yes, of course. Here you go my boy. WHIMSY! WHIMSY BRING ME AN OWL PLEASE!" Sirius cringed at the sudden loud shouting coming from his uncle. "Oh I'm sorry boys its just that damned house elf is almost def! She's nearly as old as myself, see I got her when I was a young boy…" meeting gazes with Remus, Sirius smiled at him and went to get parchment from Remus's bag, knowing the werewolf always had some on him.

Sitting at a small desk he wrote a short note on the paper,

_R,_

_Be ready, it's tonight._

_S_

Sirius stared at the note and wondered if his plan would work, and if it did how was he supposed to get Regulus to Hogwarts without his parents finding them? Sirius decided that he could file away those worries for a time after he had a long nap, he stood. Realizing that he caught Alphard at a rare silent moment between stories he spoke quickly not knowing when he would get another chance.

"Alphard, I know I have asked quite a bit of you but I have a few more requests. We need a house and we need polyjuice potion. The house would be best if it was in Scotland, the cottage in Glencoe if you don't mind, and for the polyjuice… well we need large amounts. We will need it often."

Finally looking serious, one of the few times Sirius ever remembered, Alphard nodded.

"Son, I love you, I really do but because I love you I worry about you. Much more than I should. I trust that you will keep yourself, Remus not that he can't handle himself, and Regulus safe. I will give you the house and three port keys as well as the polyjuice. The port keys will always be active. All you have to do is say the key word and you will come back here. I'm going to put more gold in your vault, just in case. You will all have a place with me or in any of my homes." Standing Alphard grabbed both of Sirius's shoulders firmly and winked once, back to his usual self and in a teasing voice he said, "Be sure to bring lots of girls home for me, Merlin knows that house hasn't see much of them."

After Smiling and thanking his Uncle Sirius went to send off the owl, leaving Alphard with Remus.

"Oh and Remus, I'll have whimsy add charms and runes to the basement for the full moon. You will be able to enter at any time on the full moon but only leave after it is over. I will also have her put an unbreakable potions chest down there. Even a werewolf can't break elf magic." Remus looked at him in puzzlement. How did he find out? Sirius never would have told him…

Seeing that Remus's brow was scrunched in confusion Alphard explained, first lifting up the sleeve of Remus's long-sleeved tee shirt.

"I had a furry companion myself… We were separated many years ago but I do miss him." With a knowing but pained glint in his eye Alphard continued looking at Remus's scars, "Treasure what time you have, you never know when it will end. I didn't do that and the person I cared for most was taken from me, I regret many things but the thing I regret most is that I didn't express my feelings enough. Do not follow my example." Meeting Remus's eyes again he could see unshed tears in Alphard's eyes. Before Remus could respond Sirius entered the room once again.

Breaking into a large smile once again Alphard screamed once more "WHIMSY, WHIMSY GET IN HERE AND BRING THREE PORTKEYS. THE ONES THAT LEAD BACK HERE." The elf popped back into the room looking shaken. Its arm was outstretched holding three port keys, all crystals of different colors hanging from black leather cord.

"You make your own key word that activates it. When you are ready say _excitant _then whatever word or words you chose." Clapping his hands Alphard ushered them to the floo and gave them the destination. "Remus, remember what we talked about."

Remus saw Alphard's concerned face before green flames encompassed his vision.

Remus walked into the beautifully decorated house in awe, the walls were a pale green with dark wood molding. There was a large dark wood table with an elegant crystal chandler above it. Large open bay windows let in the morning sun. The floors were smooth hardwood free of creaks or groans, he slipped off his patched up old shoes and let his feet feel the cool wood. Remus never liked wearing shoes, he preferred to feel the textures beneath him.

Sirius walked him into an open living room, attached by a large archway. The living room was full of cream plush couches and chairs with a coffee table in the center.

"So your room is the one just down the hall on the left. You can take any one really but I think you will like the one on the end especially." Sirius excitedly babbled while leading Remus to his new room. Pausing to give him a nervous smile before opening the door, Sirius winked "I hope you like it."

Remus gasped. The room was done in soft turquoises and creams; there was a large fluffy bed in the middle of the left wall and a full bookcase against the opposite one. The room was beautiful but the thing he noticed most, and first, was the view. A huge window with a sun seat showed the fields behind the house. Green grass covered large rolling hills, it was one of the most calming and awe inspiring things he'd ever seen.

"So… do you like it?" Sirius looked nervous again, Remus smiled, showing all his teeth. A rare full smile, and sat down on the plush bed.

Sighing heavily he responded.

"I love it."

**So there ya have it. Sorry for any mistakes because its late and I wrote pretty quickly. If you see any typos please let me know. Also I know that **_**excitant**_** does not mean activate but excite, however google translate told me that was the right word so…Thank you! Don't forget to review! **


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